Scrambled Eggs (Yesterday)

Yesterday was so awful. The literal hell of hopelessly missing my brother coupled with a voice in the back of my brain that somehow got ahold of a megaphone screaming about how useless and worthless I am. How my life is OVER and I'll never do anything ever again. How I'm never gonna be good at anything and this is as good as it's gonna get and if I don't like it I should just leave. Knowing that depression is a liar helps but it doesn't make the voice any less quiet or unrelenting. Everything was hard. Just being in my body was hard.
BUT I still 1) Made dinner for my babies 2) cleaned up after my babies ate dinner 3) Did laundry so my babies have clean clothes to wear to school 4) hugged the shit out of my babies at least twice 5) sent 3/10 whole emails I’ve been meaning to send for a week

And I am PROUD. I’m proud of myself for fighting to do those things while a rouge part of my mind forcefully told me they were meaningless and a waste of time, just like me. They’re not. They matter and I did them. I matter and I’m not going anywhere.